How to Master Your Mindset with Benjamin Owen | Stop Sabotaging Your Own Success

International business coach Benjamin Owen is no stranger to men’s work. And I don’t mean the stereotypical ‘lawn-mowing, BBQ-building, jump-starting cars’ type of work.

I’m talking about the growing numbers of men out there who get together to support each other through self-development. Men who are, in other words, ‘doing the work’.

Breakfast meetings, men in sheds, even church groups – Ben’s tried them all. Having started out as a fitness and nutrition coach – a transition he’d made from his former life as an elite sportsman – he sought out others who’d been through the same experiences as him, personally and professionally, and who were at a similar stage of business growth.

But the more groups he went to, the more he started to notice something. “It was yoga-pant-wearing, anti-establishment, anti-money, wounded guys,” says Ben. “With a lot of these groups, I was like: ‘no, this is not it. I don’t enjoy this’.”

“And then Captain No-Ed stands up…”

Part of the problem he found is that many of these groups are easily influenced by the loudest, most alpha or most cynical participant, and that attitude can seep throughout the whole room. Men then feel the pressure to follow suit and it changes the entire dynamic.

“You’re driving to these things thinking about how to ask a business support group how you’re gonna pay your £70,000 VAT bill, hoping someone’s been in the same situation at some point. And then Captain No-Ed stands up and asks how he can make his dick longer… like, for Christ’s sake.”

Then there’s the polarity of it all. “What guys see on the internet now; it’s the Andy Elliott’s and the Wes Watson’s who are like, rah-rah, mask over everything. Andy Elliott can go away. He’s not for me. But on the flipside, you’ve got guys sunning themselves in Bali, thinking they’re doing ‘the work’ and then the guys like me in the middle are like ‘where do we fit into all this?”

“I didn’t have a pot to piss in”

The biggest problem, Ben believes, is that the work these guys need to do to become better people and better business leaders is the work that’s most repellent to them personally. To accept when they’re wrong, to admit they’re struggling, to confront the possibility that they’re the bottleneck in their own business.

“I’ve been through that process myself,” he says. “I’ve had times where I didn’t have a pot to piss in and I needed help. At that point, having accepted my mistakes, the only thing I had left to invest was my time – so I wanted to make sure I invested it wisely by connecting with the right people.”

What Ben had been looking for was a group of business owners like himself who’s been through hard times, who were willing to talk openly, who weren’t afraid to articulate their emotions, and who were on a similar journey to his in terms of scaling their business.

Irked by not being able to find one, he started up his own. He began to attract the crowd he’d been looking for, and it led him to a life-changing discovery. He was able to motivate other entrepreneurs in the same way he’d been able to inspire his fitness clients.

Using the growth mindset he’d mastered, he developed the 10X Tribe and started working with business leaders to transform their approach; to move forward from pain and fear to love and desire. To step into the person they want to be and to build a business doing something they love.

“Wow. That’s gold!”

Many of Ben’s participants were business owners pulling in between five and six figures and trying to reach the mythical seven. Ben now works with these leaders one-to-one to help them create commitments to becoming better in all areas of their lives, and, unsurprisingly, this mindset shift leads them towards exponential growth.

“Some of these guys need different types of coaching,” says Ben. “For some it’s just to talk for 80% of the session, maybe more. And I’ll just make one or two observations and they’ll be like ‘wow, that’s gold – thank you!”, whereas for others I’ll do a lot of psychoeducation to help them shift that self-sabotaging mindset and get out of their own way.”

The mindset Ben’s developed is based on 10x is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. It’s about achieving more by doing less; something Gay Hendricks famously talks about this in The Big Leap, and a formula Ben believes is essential to business growth.

“There are so many business leaders out there who find themselves operating the business instead of leading it. If you want your business to become infinitely more profitable, it’s not about doing more; it’s about doing really effective things that move the needle. Raise the barriers you’re imposing on yourself and start thinking about how to multiply your profits by 10, not 2. That’s the mindset I teach business leaders today.”

Ben actively challenges clients to confront the same self-sabotaging actions he observes in most of the businesses leaders he’s worked with before they began to grow. So here, we’ve outlined the five behaviours that can kill business growth, and how to fix them.

Five self-sabotaging actions that are killing your business growth

#1. Feeling guilty for taking time off

Recently I was in LA and San Diego for Codebreak. I went to a conference, and then I added four days at the end for some me-time. We gained 11 clients in that period, and that’s no coincidence. The things I came up with in those nine days wouldn’t have happened if I’d just been operating the business. We’re programmed to feel guilty for taking time off. Being constantly busy is applauded by society and I think that’s gross. But you can’t grow – as a person or as a business – if you’re stuck in the stress cycle. If you’re filled with guilt, you’re not going to be thinking optimally.

#2. Following the social script

Most business owners will go to a networking meeting, and they’re like: “Oh, everything’s fine, everything’s great,” and it’s all BS. The problem is that the social script in these places is: “We’re all doing really well,” even though some people are really struggling and masking it. We need to flip the script on that, because we’re all playing along with it and it’s tiring. From now on, if someone asks how you are, tell them. They’ve asked. If they don’t really want to know, they shouldn’t have asked. Let’s start having real conversations.

#3. Never giving yourself thinking time

Ben’s own coach – Dan Bradbury – switched him onto the idea of ‘thinking time’. And Ben, like so many other business leaders, realised he never stopped to think; he just crammed his day full of stuff. You have to give your brain space to roam freely. To just ruminate on the day, on the business, on your plans. Now he puts ‘flow time’ in his diary every morning from 9 ‘til 10am. Wherever you take that flow time – on a walk, in the bath, whatever – it’s essential to carve it into your day.

#4. Not prioritising your health

Let’s be real for a minute. If you’re going to scale your business up to seven figures, you need to be fit and healthy. If you’re accountable for profitability to your team, then you also need to be accountable to yourself for your wellbeing. When people see you’re fit and healthy and you take that seriously, there’s a level of trust there. People can see that you’re a high performer and that inspires confidence. That helps you become a better leader.

#5. Trying to do everything alone

Ben comes from an elite sport background where he had a physio, a chiropractor, a massage therapist, a sports psychologist, a programme director, a lifting specialist; a team, basically. And this is what a lot of leaders need to learn. You can’t do everything alone and expect to reach your goals. Treat yourself like an athlete and surround yourself with a strong team – even if that’s your wife, a couple of close friends; because these people will keep you functioning optimally.

Connect with Ben over on Insta at @coachbenjaminowen or head over to his website to explore his one-to-one mentoring programmes and discover more about the growth mindset.

Don’t miss the next episode of Stay Hungry – we’ll dive into straight-talking insights on business marketing, growth mindset, and the realities of running a business. And if you want to take the hassle out of your marketing, we’ve got you covered with our done-for-you service.

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