Hearing vs Listening | The Secret to True Connection in Business

Today we’re talking about hearing versus listening – one of the most important yet overlooked ways to build real connection in business. It’s easy to feel like you’re listening, when really you’re just not speaking. But when it comes to your clients – and basically any relationship in life – people don’t just want you to listen.

They want to feel heard.

The difference between hearing and listening is that listening can be very passive, but hearing is active.

If someone tells you they’re going on holiday and you just say: “Cool, have a nice time”, you’ve listened. But if instead you ask: “Oh really, where are you off to?”, it shows them you’ve heard. You’re advancing that conversation.

Even if a client is happy or getting amazing results, they still want to feel heard and listened to. They want to know that you understand when something’s bad. They also want to know that you’ve understood when something’s good, and that you share in their elation.

Are we actually listening?

Sometimes, our clients wonder if we’re really listening to them. We are. But we’re listening to where they want to be, not to what they think they need to do to get there.

And that’s often a tough pill for them to swallow.

They might say: “I don’t feel like I’m being listened to,” but the truth is, we’re listening deeply. We’re just cutting through the noise to help them reach their goals.

Having said that, there are times when making a client feel heard means giving them what they want, even if you know it won’t work. It’s a fine balance. Maybe they need to strip everything back to the bare bones, but they’re not interested in that because they feel like it’s too easy or simplistic.

You could compare it to designing a kitchen. Someone might say they want a functional kitchen, but they still want it to look good. The functional kitchen has cupboards, a cooker, a microwave and a sink, but it needs flair. People want to feel special.

Add the cherry on top

On occasion, you’ll get results with just the functional approach, but to make the client feel heard and special, you add the cherry on top – even if it’s not required.

Let’s say you’re an accountant; your clients will obviously expect their books and tax returns to be done on time. But to make them feel heard, you might include a cover letter explaining what they’re receiving, or a handwritten note saying: “Well done on being 27% up on last year.”

Most accountants wouldn’t do that, but it makes a huge difference. Even a card in the post can blow someone’s mind.

A lot of this comes down to knowing what makes someone tick. Clients have different preferences; some would find a phone call intrusive; others would feel ignored if we didn’t call weekly. We used to limit communication methods to save hassle, but that backfired because connecting with customers isn’t one-size-fits-all.

It’s about adapting your communication to their preferences, whether it’s texts, emails or voice notes. And that’s not just good customer service; it’s a tactical advantage.

Adapting your communication method

For instance, if a client says: “I don’t use emails much,” and you switch to WhatsApp for them, you’ve opened a direct line of communication. It’s about giving people the chance to be heard and taking an active listening role. The same applies in meetings.

If you’re the person making the most noise in a meeting, you’re probably not listening.

Something I always do in meetings is to ask the quietest person in the room what they think. These are the people who never feel heard because they don’t speak up, but that’s just because their method of communication isn’t to shout everyone down.

Everyone has different communication styles; some express themselves vocally, others through writing or actions. Tailoring the environment to accommodate these styles ensures everyone feels heard.

Another frequent issue in business is miscommunication. There’s so much potential for it to happen.

In a restaurant, for example, would you trust a waiter or waitress who doesn’t write the order down? I know some might find it impressive, but you know what’s more impressive? Getting the order right.

Leaving no room for miscommunication

Miscommunication doesn’t just mean that someone phrased something badly; it might also mean the recipient listened badly. But an easy way to overcome that is to write it down after you’ve said it.

When I email clients now, I’ll put the text into AI and say: “Please make all the points super clear so the recipient knows exactly what action they need to take.” I’ve written the email, I’m just asking AI to make it more structured – and that’s made a huge difference to the responses I get.

The technology that exists now means there’s no excuse not to listen. Devices can listen to meetings, provide logs and even identify each person in the meeting.

Smart technology can transcribe that meeting and even help you recall what was discussed. Tools like these make it so much easier to avoid miscommunication, which is critical for managing teams, clients and campaigns effectively.

I definitely said I wanted it red

In any situation; you need some way of keeping track. I’m pretty sure no one would get offended if you said: “Hang on, I just need to write this down” or “Do you mind if I turn my camera on?”

I used to think people would get funny about recording a meeting, but not one person has ever said: “What the hell are you doing?”

These days, you don’t even need permission. Meetings are just set to record by default.

We don’t even have to think about it; it transcribes the whole thing. I can type in something like: “John was saying something about this new AI,” and it’ll bring up all the points where AI was mentioned. I can literally see word for word what was said. I love it.

We’ve sometimes had people challenge us on what’s been said in a meeting, but we can always say: “No, literally, word for word, this is what was said. You wanted it to be green.”

If they’re then like: “No, I said I wanted it red,” we can immediately say: “Well, here’s the clip of you saying you wanted it green.”

It’s not being passive-aggressive, it’s being accurate. Objective. Factual.

Stripping out the emotion

Leading with fact is important, because emotions can be risky in business. I’m quite an emotional character by nature, but I’m working hard to take the emotion out of things and only work off data. Data is ultimately what matters, and being led by data removes emotions.

You also have to think about how your recipient will interpret that data – because let’s be realistic, it’s not always good news. And even when it is, the client might not even realise that – or perceive it as good.

We’ve had clients whose campaigns have been so fantastically successful, yet they’ve told us to slow down because it’s stressing them out. We were there thinking: “Oh, they’re going to send us champagne!” But then they call and tell us to shut the campaign down because they can’t cope with delivery. In those instances, it’s hard to strip the emotion out.

Last but not least, it’s crucial to avoid doing things clients explicitly ask you not to do. Even if you’ve done a great job for them, ignoring their preferences makes them feel unheard. If they say: “Please don’t do this,” and you do it anyway, they’ll focus on that rather than the positive outcome.

By agreeing your approach together, you avoid creating a situation where they feel ignored and distrustful.

And trust is the foundation of good business.

Don’t miss the next episode of Stay Hungry – we’ll dive into straight-talking insights on business marketing, growth mindset, and the realities of running a business. And if you want to take the hassle out of your marketing, we’ve got you covered with our done-for-you service.